The Ventriloquist

[KrispyKoala]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to Stuart

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Stuart: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Stuart: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at Stuart)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Stuart: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Stuart: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Stuart: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at Stuart)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Stuart: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Stuart: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar……'

[cryptonomiumo]

We have the same joke, about the Welsh. It's very old.