Agony Aunt

[mango]

whatever you do don't try to be clever & forewarn him of your 'rights', he'll shift everything into a Swiss Bank

[yord]

Id love to know the arseholes side of this

[feral]

Personally, I wouldn't wish to be receiving any money at all from a man I wanted to be free of .....all the more so if I thought he was an arsehole . I have been told that I'm rather odd though. I don't think I am mind.

[puffin]

Not really, feral. I walked away from an unhappy marriage to an abusive husband and didn't take a thing. I wanted no reminder of his control.Taking anything would have made me feel as if I was still tied to him.

[mango]

If it's a business you have built up together, I don't see how you have no claim
~

" Even my solicitors told me to walk away!
Told me to get someone new."

- that comment is a worry - don't look for a knight in shining armour to save you, save yourself, establish yourself, work ...any work to set yourself up, take control, it's up to you.
Too many women in your situation wait for another man to come along & 'rescue' them,
but that's when old patterns are repeated, you aren't taking control of your own life, that's the key to freedom

btw, I know a woman who worked three menial jobs - hardly slept, to put her daughter through private school, wouldn't do for me, but each to their own

[kubik8]

Many parents do the vicarious success thing through their kids. It's a stupidly f**k*d-up attitude and unlikely to bring any good to parent or child, imho.

[pinxminx]

Everyone has their own opinion, I am doing or have done what I think is best for my child under the circumstances.
I think you are right Mango.
But thanx everyone for your comments.

[feral]

I don't think anyone doubted for a minute that you were doing what you thought was best for your kid.
Just bear in mind though that very often with kids you're damned if you do and damned if you don't . Whatever choice you make on their behalf may come back to bite you at some point -in other words it's wrong either way cos they're awkward sods lol. I decided a few years back that I was going to stop making choices based purely on whether I thought it would be best for me kid and start making some that would be best for me .Cos me being happy and sorted would actually be best for me kid.
It's working so far but if it doesn't at some point and she has a phase of being a fecked up, miserable, blame your mum type, at least I wont be as well and therefore more able to cope with it

[pinxminx]

Yeah thanx Feral, that's good advice.
I must admit though, I'm a bit of a 'saviour type' I'm far too altruistic - I'm that by nature. Can't really help the way you are, or you can, but then it would be me feeling guilty.
I feel like a dumwit at the moment.
Can we talk about something else?
;-)