Three Darwin Awards in one day?

[perrykneeham]

I had one in my kitchen once. Came back from shopping and the kitchen was a shambles with splashes of blood on the walls. We wondered what the f**k had happened for a minute or two and then spotted a magpie watching us from on top of a cupboard. It had been fighting with one of our cats. I let it out and it seemed fine.

Good effort.

[mids]

It's odd how magpies used to be quite rare and now you can hardly move for them.

[perrykneeham]

Unlike maggies. More's the pity.

[moggyonspeed]

Sept 17, 2019 7:03:48 GMT mids said:

It's odd how magpies used to be quite rare and now you can hardly move for them.

"Bloody foreigners, comin' over 'ere, nickin' our birds etc. etc. ..."

You've been reading the Daily Mail again, aintcha?

[voice]

This must qualify

www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-49783851

An American man has drowned while proposing to his girlfriend underwater during a "once-in-a-lifetime" trip to Tanzania.

Steven Weber and his girlfriend, Kenesha Antoine, were staying in a submerged cabin at the Manta Resort, off Pemba Island.

Footage shows Mr Weber diving under water to ask Ms Antoine to marry him.

In the video, Mr Weber presses a hand-written proposal note against the cabin window as Ms Antoine films from inside.

Ms Antoine, confirming Mr Weber's death in a Facebook post, said he "never emerged from those depths".

[mids]

That seems like a pretty solid Darwin. "Holiday of a lifetime", you say?

[Deleted]

Looking back she was probably quite relieved.

[voice]

A woman has been found dead in the US state of Indiana with an 8ft (2.4m) reticulated python wrapped around her neck.

Laura Hurst, 36, was found unresponsive after police were called to a property in the town of Oxford.

There were 140 snakes inside the house, which is believed to be specifically used to house the animals.

www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-50261417

She probably thought it was only going to give her a goodnight hiss.

[mids]

I kaan't imagine why you'd want that many snakes.

[mids]

Still if it wasn't that snake, I'm sure one of the others would have adder.

[Deleted]

A bloke I knew who kept snakes fell asleep on his sofa one night to wake up and find his largest boa around him with its jaws over the top of his head trying to swallow him.

[voice]

If it was 3.14M long it would be a true Pi-thon

[mids]

My uncle had a python years ago. I only got to see it one time (they lived in Manchester) and I was more excited about it than anything ever (I was about 8). Anyway, it was a pretty big disappointment. It just lay, unmoving and ill in its snake tank. It died a few months after that.

[mids]

Nov 1, 2019 17:10:50 GMT @oneofthelessergods said:

A bloke I knew who kept snakes fell asleep on his sofa one night to wake up and find his largest boa around him with its jaws over the top of his head trying to swallow him.

I was waiting for a punchline.

[voice]

I went to some hipster party in North London in the late 80's, pretty terrible party all round, the host, some advertising floozy, was wearing a snake as an accessory, and if that wasn't bad enough the damn thing pissed all over some people sitting on her couch.

[mids]

I never knew snakes pissed. I suppose they must though. Hang on, you sure the floozy wasn't a bloke?

[Minge är en jävla besserwisser]

That's funny. never occurred to me either that snake's piss, but they must I suppose.

[voice]

definitely a woman, nice norks as i remember, but insufferably smug. We only stayed cos the booze was top notch and them being add-execs, there was plenty of good coke.

[Minge är en jävla besserwisser]

Do nice norks trump insufferably smug?

[voice]

not sure it works like that, she was never gonna bed a jumped up northerner like me either way.