No Sex On First Date?!

[yord]

and they say the human species is intelligent

[feral]

I might get pregnant, it might just be poo, I might regret it myself, I might regret when I meet somebody else, he might be my brother, he may have shagged my best mate, he may be in it for more than me, or vice versa, there are a million thngs you can weigh up if you want to that can outweigh

How negative .How about :
It might be wonderful ,we might thoroughly enjoy it etc etc etc

[dwad]

I'm saying they are all good reasons for you and that's fine. They don't weigh much with me.

So somebody can come tot a totally different conclusion to you rationally and without hang-ups?

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Apart from anything else, surely the longer you wait for sex the more expectations you lay on it and you make the moment of "giving in" something important - self-fulfilling prophecy type thing.

[yord]

I guarantee I would

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 21, 2009 11:40:36 GMT dwad said:

I'm saying they are all good reasons for you and that's fine. They don't weigh much with me.

So somebody can come tot a totally different conclusion to you rationally and without hang-ups?

Yes. Or their decision might be reached because they have certain hang ups. Much as with faith, I can respect your choices because you clearly have thought about them a lot. I don't regard you as typical though.

[feral]

So somebody can come tot a totally different conclusion to you rationally and without hang-ups?

I dunno ..I reckon not having sex cos you fear getting a STD,or regretting it later is a hang up

[dwad]

Jan 21, 2009 11:40:02 GMT feral said:

I might get pregnant, it might just be poo, I might regret it myself, I might regret when I meet somebody else, he might be my brother, he may have shagged my best mate, he may be in it for more than me, or vice versa, there are a million thngs you can weigh up if you want to that can outweigh

How negative .How about :
It might be wonderful ,we might thoroughly enjoy it etc etc etc

Sure, I'm just trying to point out that there can be two valid rational sides to the coin on deciding whether or not to have sex with sombody. It could be as stark as: I want sex but he's my brother so I'd better not or something less tangible like deciding to hold out for somebody specialerer, but either way it's a valid rational choice and not a hang-up.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 21, 2009 11:43:08 GMT feral said:

So somebody can come tot a totally different conclusion to you rationally and without hang-ups?

I dunno ..I reckon not having sex cos you fear getting a STD,or regretting it later is a hang up

Probably irrational paranoia but certainly more rational than "I'm not having sex even though I want to in case I do something wrong/he doesn't respect me because I did".

[dwad]

Jan 21, 2009 11:43:08 GMT feral said:

So somebody can come tot a totally different conclusion to you rationally and without hang-ups?

I dunno ..I reckon not having sex cos you fear getting a STD,or regretting it later is a hang up

Although I would say that I made it rationally and since I am now happy to have made the decision I did it was both rational and right for me.

[dwad]

Jan 21, 2009 11:39:17 GMT yord said:

and they say the human species is intelligent

au contraire

[yord]

and there it is ..." it might just be poo, I might regret it myself, I might regret when I meet somebody else,........yet you married the one and only sexual partner youve had based on this and without knowing . Fecking great idea

[Deleted]

Having hang ups can be excellent when someone who turns you on helps you get over the hangup.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 21, 2009 11:45:40 GMT yord said:

and there it is ..." it might just be poo, I might regret it myself, I might regret when I meet somebody else,........yet you married the one and only sexual partner youve had based on this and without knowing . Fecking great idea

Hum well, sex is less important to some people than others, the main thing is that you both agree on the things that are and aren't really important. I love football but I wouldn't insist on only being with men who also love football. I would, however, insist on only being with men who love sex because that's way more important to me.

[Deleted]

Good point Pushwood, why didn't you use that name for the new board?...not that it's important, just wondered.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 21, 2009 11:46:00 GMT @oneofthelessergods said:

Having hang ups can be excellent when someone who turns you on helps you get over the hangup.

[Deleted]

I didn't even think about it J. Maybe best not go back to the past.

[dwad]

Jan 21, 2009 11:45:40 GMT yord said:

and there it is ..." it might just be poo, I might regret it myself, I might regret when I meet somebody else,........yet you married the one and only sexual partner youve had based on this and without knowing . Fecking great idea

I should just be clear, it is not that I feel sex is bad, or unimportant or anything else, simply that when I've looked at the benefits and problems that can surround I've made the decision to keep it within certain boundaries.

It doesn't make you immnue to all the same desires and lusts as anybody else, or mean that you don't sometimes stretch your own boundaries. It just means that I have decided there are certain things that aren't worth risking.

[Deleted]

I suppose so, I maybe should have used my very first nick, but I doubt anyone would remember it now.

[yord]

"I should just be clear, it is not that I feel sex is bad, or unimportant or anything else, simply that when I've looked at the benefits and problems that can surround I've made the decision to keep it within certain boundaries.

It doesn't make you immnue to all the same desires and lusts as anybody else, or mean that you don't sometimes stretch your own boundaries. It just means that I have decided there are certain things that aren't worth risking.2

No it means youve no idea what your talking about . You dont have the experience on which to base your comments or knowledge