No Sex On First Date?!

[newyorker]

Jan 20, 2009 10:52:58 GMT sweet soul said:

how can u relax with a stranger, and truley enjoy the moment? like you would with someone you know and care about......i guess everyone id different tho.

Exactly, couldn't get past the ick-factor of being with what is fundamentally a total stranger, to many nut jobs and diseases out there to be doing the one night stand thing.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

If you're any good, it won't be a one night stand.

[feral]

Ach .I just don't understand how anyone can say
" I wouldn't go to bed with someone on a first date ...ever" full stop .Surely it should depend on the person and what you feel .I do think that many women carry preconcieved ideas around with them that influence their thinking .One is " If I go to bed with him straight away he wont respect me anymore " ( NY showed by his post why many women think that ) and then there's the opposing one : " If I dont go to bed with him straight away he'll lose interest "
It shouldnt be about either but about what you feel for that particular person and when you feel it -which can be straight away or with time .

Then there's the third type who holds out cos she wants a ring on her finger first.I'd advise all men to avoid that type like the plague

[radge]

sex i have found is always better in a loving relationship when you are perfectly comfortable with one another and you do things that you know they like. Thats pleasing for everyone involved and very gratifying. But thats not to say screwing on a 1st date is rubbish, or screwing a stranger is rubbish. Some people act on lust before love and lust is very intense sh*t

[radge]

Oh and VHW. you have something there, but then again, ive fcuked when just meeting someone it was great!!! but i havent bothered going back for more

[sweet soul]

If you're any good, it won't be a one night stand.



true, but how good can u be with a stranger?

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 20, 2009 11:00:17 GMT feral said:

Ach .I just don't understand how anyone can say
" I wouldn't go to bed with someone on a first date ...ever" full stop .Surely it should depend on the person and what you feel .I do think that many women carry preconcieved ideas around with them that influence their thinking .One is " If I go to bed with him straight away he wont respect me anymore " ( NY showed by his post why many women think that ) and then there's the opposing one : " If I dont go to bed with him straight away he'll lose interest "
It shouldnt be about either but about what you feel for that particular person and when you feel it -which can be straight away or with time .

Then there's the third type who holds out cos she wants a ring on her finger first.I'd advise all men to avoid that type like the plague

I salute this post.

I dunno, it seems weird to me. I know whether I want to have sex with someone or not immediately (or at least, it would only take a matter of minutes for their personality to put me off if that happens to be the case), if I don't want to then I wouldn't go on a date with them, if I do then I see no reason to specify the number of dates/amount of money they must spend/whatever before I'll do what we both want to do.

Whatever you feel comfortable with is what you should do.

[sweet soul]

and u also risk doing something they dont like so they dont come back for more>?

[Deleted]

Nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, safe sex is the key, besides, there's more protein in a good stiff w**k than there is in a 3 course meal.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Jan 20, 2009 11:06:25 GMT sweet soul said:

and u also risk doing something they dont like so they dont come back for more>?

I'm intrigued now. What is this thing you are so worried about doing that will have men screaming and running for the hills?

[feral]

sex i have found is always better in a loving relationship when you are perfectly comfortable with one another

I agree with you totally ,radge .Sex does ( should ) get better the more you have it with someone you love .There's still always the first time though lol .Whether that was the first time you met them or weeks later doesn't really make all that much difference

[Libby]

Lust is fine if it's satisfying and that is all you need, so are one night stands if both people know the score. I personally have never had a one night stand, it has never appealed to me, i like the intensity of a good relationship. A bit old fashioned i guess! The build-up of a relationship at the beginning is unbeatable, the awkwardness and discovery is fantastic - surely that would be over all too quickly on a first date. It takes all sorts though, it wouldn't do if we were all the same.

[VikingHumpingWitch]

I guess this is one reason I moved to Sweden. Sex isn't regarded as taboo and a bit scary here.

[sweet soul]

lol vhw

nothin really, its just that i like to know ppl a bit more, i think it would work better that way

[sweet soul]

being single again i do think about theses things alot ; )

[feral]

Jan 20, 2009 11:06:25 GMT sweet soul said:

and u also risk doing something they dont like so they dont come back for more>?

Good grief -what sort of hang ups do you carry around with you SS ? He might also do something you dont like in that case and you might not go back for more ..if youre both too dumb to say " don't do that ..I dont like it "

[Beachcomber]

Why is everyone so serious about this - Has no one ever laughed during sex ?

It can also be fun you know

[VikingHumpingWitch]

Ha, a likely story. My advice is keep stuff out of his arse on the first shag, unless he suggests it first.

Anyone read in the paper today that women orgasm more with richer men? (The richest guy I was ever with was also one of the least entertaining in bed so either I'm Not Really A Woman or the research is wrong.)

[feral]

I'm intrigued as to know why most people are presuming that if you have sex on a first date it will only be a one night stand

[sweet soul]

anyhow im still lookin, im sure when i find mr right it will all be hunky dory ( hopes ) : )