|
|
Post by wetkingcanute on Aug 19, 2019 20:56:45 GMT
Sometime ago I was behind a van that had "This Vehicle Stops Frequently" on the back.
and someone had written in the dirt "Yeah - at your Mum's"
|
|
moggyonspeed
New Member
"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."
Posts: 7,670
|
Post by moggyonspeed on Aug 20, 2019 10:59:38 GMT
The Tourettes joke isn't, strictly speaking, a pun either - it's a malapropism.
Pedantry - it's what makes me tic (oops).
|
|
|
|
Post by Minge är en jävla besserwisser on Aug 20, 2019 11:24:02 GMT
I don't believe it's a malapropism.
A malapropism involves the unintentional use of the wrong word in the belief it is the right one.
|
|
|
|
Post by wetkingcanute on Aug 20, 2019 11:28:24 GMT
I love malapropisms - but they are best when said unintentionally.
One of my favorites was said by an old Lady on a bus to her friend:
"I don't have to make the bed any more since Bert got us a Bidet"
|
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 20, 2019 12:22:55 GMT
I'm not sure I've got it. Did she mean duvet?
|
|
|
|
Post by wetkingcanute on Aug 20, 2019 13:01:28 GMT
I never thought I'd ever have to explain something to you mids!
yes, of course she did!
|
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 20, 2019 13:03:42 GMT
I'm dumber than I look you know!
|
|
|
|
Post by Repat Van on Aug 20, 2019 13:47:34 GMT
I'm dumber than I look you know! Too easy. |
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 20, 2019 13:48:44 GMT
Doesn't count. Very poor form.
|
|
|
|
Post by Repat Van on Aug 20, 2019 13:49:25 GMT
Yeah - good point - I did laugh but it's not a great one. He also said that jokes about white sugar are rare but brown sugar - Demerara! That really made me laugh, what god awful punning! :D |
|
moggyonspeed
New Member
"Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat."
Posts: 7,670
|
Post by moggyonspeed on Aug 20, 2019 15:16:35 GMT
Thing is, some of these comedy pundits pick some pretty dross jokes over funnier ones on the shortlist.
"I was raised as an only child. Which really used to annoy my sister". Can't remember who coined it, but that one from a few years back made me laugh.
|
|
|
|
Post by unclejunior on Aug 21, 2019 12:01:52 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by flatandy on Aug 21, 2019 13:22:02 GMT
That has to be one of the world's oldest jokes.
|
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 21, 2019 13:46:27 GMT
This is, thanks to those zany Sumerians.
"Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband’s lap."
|
|
|
|
Post by unclejunior on Aug 21, 2019 14:02:18 GMT
That has to be one of the world's oldest jokes. ..with the funniest part being that the beer Company apologised...!! |
|
|
|
Post by Marshall on Aug 22, 2019 4:27:11 GMT
Have we heard all the "Confucius says" jokes?
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Man who take woman camping have one in tent.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
And of course the itchy a$$hole one.
(I realize this has been a very racist post and I apologize profusely.)
|
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 22, 2019 6:42:37 GMT
I don't think I've heard a Confucius joke before.
|
|
|
|
Post by perrykneeham on Aug 22, 2019 6:47:21 GMT
I think he's known as "wee chinky fellah" north of the border.
|
|
mids
New Member
Posts: 61,009
|
Post by mids on Aug 22, 2019 7:04:25 GMT
More likely "wee chinky gadgie".
|
|
|
|
Post by unclejunior on Aug 22, 2019 7:09:13 GMT
“one thing that defines our perpetually offended far left, anti fa and professional racist complainers etc is a singular lack of a deveoped sense of humour or irony
They do not even drink tea, as all proper tea is theft,”
I’ll get me coat.....!
|
|
