Edinburgh Fringe Festival ~ "best jokes"

[moggyonspeed]

How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is it one, or two? One … or two?

[voice]

I asked this lady if I could touch her hair, she said yes, so I ran my finger across her top lip, and that's how the fight started.

[marechal]

An Irishman goes into a bar, orders two shots, downs them both and leaves.

The next day he's back. He orders another two shots, drinks both and leaves.

This goes on for some time until one day the bartender asks him, "Why is it that you always order two shots?"

"Well," the Irishman replies, "you see my brother and I used to go out drinking every night, but he lives across the country now. So every night I order two drinks; one for him and one for myself."

This habit goes on for a while until one day he comes in and orders only one shot. The bartender becomes concerned and asks, "You only ordered one shot today - did something happen to your brother?"

"Of course not," the Irishman replies. My brother's fine. I just quit drinking."

[marechal]

A wife calls out from another room to her husband who's watching TV.

"Do you ever get a really sharp pain in your side, like someone has a voodoo doll of you and are sticking pins in it?"
"No."
(A moment later) "How about now?"

[Repat Van]

Sept 19, 2024 22:23:37 GMT marechal said:

An Irishman goes into a bar, orders two shots, downs them both and leaves.

The next day he's back. He orders another two shots, drinks both and leaves.

This goes on for some time until one day the bartender asks him, "Why is it that you always order two shots?"

"Well," the Irishman replies, "you see my brother and I used to go out drinking every night, but he lives across the country now. So every night I order two drinks; one for him and one for myself."

This habit goes on for a while until one day he comes in and orders only one shot. The bartender becomes concerned and asks, "You only ordered one shot today - did something happen to your brother?"

"Of course not," the Irishman replies. My brother's fine. I just quit drinking."

I thought “Irish Jokes” were passé now?

[marechal]

I'm sure all ethnic jokes are. But if I laugh, I don't care.

I remember as a teen there was a book that was half Polish jokes and, when you flip it over, half Italian jokes.
This I know because my friend, who was Italian, had one.

[Repat Van]

….

Ok. I don’t think clever “ethnic jokes” based on actual cultural knowledge are much passé. I am sure Irish people would have some very witty jokes based on people from different regions of Ireland.

But the “Irish people are thick” jokes just seem a little….sigh.

[wetkingcanute]

Yes, I think “Irish people are thick" jokes are very passe - but I don't think that particular joke above is one of them.

[perrykneeham]

That's about right. I think "Irish people have some different ways of looking at things" jokes are fine. Rather affectionate, really. Vive la difference etc.

[mids]

We're all about lefties are thick jokes now.

[perrykneeham]

That just demonstrates that all humour has a kernel of truth. Sadly the outcomes aren't at all funny.

[flatandy]

The thing about that Irish joke above is that the protagonist doesn't have to be Irish. The Irishness is redundant.

[perrykneeham]

Nah,it's a very Irish way of looking atbthings. Many Irish jokes are actually just Irish jokes using the key to humour - unexpected absurdity or inversion.

[perrykneeham]

Like asking for directions in Ireland. "Well, if I wanted to get there, I wouldn't be starting from here".

[marechal]

I didn’t take that as an “Irish people are thick” joke either, more as an “Irish people like to drink” joke.